Leading with Heart and Edge
I recently spoke at the Data Driven Salon Event in October. I shared a presentation titled “Leading with Heart and Edge.” Finding that perfect balance of guiding and directing people, having powerful yet empathic conversations when needed, and trusting yourself, so that the results you are aiming for are achieved. What could go wrong? Well, many things when you do not have a system or framework for success. Leading with heart and edge requires a Heart of Compassion and an Edge of Accountability.
With our industry still being 90% women, being heart-centered is easy for us. Having the edge is where we need more skill. I say skill over good intentions, gut feeling, or assuming we are doing the right thing. It is a skill that we need, and a skill can be learned and practiced.
Heart and Edge Leadership's foundation is emotional intelligence; we opt for using emotions to be authentic, real, and present. What goes awry most of the time is triggering negative emotions that hijack our ability to be truth tellers, guides, and leaders who genuinely want to help others be better and grow. How do you navigate making a good emotional connection vs. triggering negative emotions? It starts with a tool called VEF (TM), Voice, Empathy, and Feedback.
Leading with Heart and Edge gives others a voice, allowing them to share their intentions regarding the situation and circumstance before judgment, policy, or expectations. Next, add empathy through listening and understanding and realizing we all make mistakes or have bad days, listening with intent for them to hear themselves and potentially solve their issues, and finally to feedback to redirect and get them back on track or maybe provide information or knowledge that may be missing so they can learn and grow.
The biggest mistake we make as leaders is that 80% of us think we are better-than-average leaders (Harvard Business Review), which inhibits us from being flexible and adaptable to numerous situations. We judge ourselves by our intentions but judge others by their actions. This statement alone negates emotional connection, and the results trigger negative emotions. Being more curious and asking questions keeps us in the space regarding their intention, then offering feedback on the impact it has on them, their business, and your business.
Please think of your everyday leadership conversations with your team and clients and all the variables connected. How many times do you give them a voice?
The second mistake is that we don’t stay in the conversations long enough. We typically tell them what we need to tell them and think that it will go away or improve. Only to find out a few days later, they have been thinking about it, feel unfairly targeted, and stir up resentment, leading to the Three R’s—Resistance, Resentment, then Revenge. If you can create space with heart and edge and avoid Resistance, the Resentment and Revenge dissipate.
I stated earlier that being a great leader has a framework like anything else we learn to master. So, I will ask, do you have a successful leadership framework that you can count on every single time that embodies you with clarity and confidence? If the answer is no, here is a great place to start.
I am committed to building and growing leaders with a Heart of compassion and an Edge of accountability.
1. Take the SOS Leadership Quiz; you will get instant results on improving your skills. Click Here
2. Invest in the Emotional Intelligence Leadership Influence Online Course if you are not a highly emotionally intelligent leader. Click Here
3. If you are serious about being a great leader, consider getting certified as an Emotional Intelligence Leader with the Ultimate Leaders Course and Certification. Click Here